I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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