omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
