I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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