Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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