puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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