it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
