hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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