I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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