yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
