No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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