I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
