i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
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She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
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Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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