Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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