He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize