I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
