I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
