so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Are my feet made of real feet?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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