But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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