Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
