dude i'm inner monologue high
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
