Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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