A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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