I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
