At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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