Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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