He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
