Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize