hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
