i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize