I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
