U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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