pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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