This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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