I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
