Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
