So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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