why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
