if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Dicks are not precious.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
