Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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