I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
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