Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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