Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
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Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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