your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize