I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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