I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
