laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
my poor anus
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
