you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
