I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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