i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
