Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
