Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Randomize