Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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