you would pick up someone in the library
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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