I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
