We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
