I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
