dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
