i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
vagina is talking i cant
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize