I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
