Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
