someone get that fucking seahorse.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
