kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
