That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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