this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
