I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
